How many times did you hear a true champion speak with doubt? How many times did you hear a boxer say, “It will be a tough fight, we will just have to wait until Saturday and see how it all works out”? Never, because doubt will knock you out before you even begin.
The athletes that are remembered are always those that performed memorably during times of pressure. I say memorably because they could be remembered for choking or rising to the occasion. Anyone who has played competitive sports knows that there is a different feeling during a play-off game, but as with all things in life, that by itself is not a bad thing, it is all in the way you handle it.
People are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them-- Epictetus 200AD
If you let self-doubt enter your mind, anxiety is sure to grow. Once you start to doubt whether you are capable of winning you’re on your way to disaster because the mind can only hold one thought at a time. You are either thinking of winning, and visualizing what winning will be like, or you are worrying about what happens if you don’t win. You can only hold one picture at a time. Sure some athletes waver back and forth, but at any given time you can only be holding one thought.
What the mind sees, feels, and thinks, it works towards. The mind needs to be given direction and then it works towards making that given destination a reality. The mind is constantly working towards results, the trouble is what directions are we giving the mind. When you learn how to control your mind, greatness is achievable. Learning how to think like a winner is the first step towards becoming a winner.
To Become a champion, you must first look and act like a champion. -- Muhammad Ali
Some people say you cannot control what comes into your mind. I believe with the proper training… you can. Regardless of whether or not you can or cannot control what enters your mind, you can definitely control how long you hold any thought that does enter your mind. If a seagull decides to have a bowel movement while flying overhead, you cannot exactly control that… but you sure the heck can control how quickly you clean yourself off.
It is the same with your mind. When a negative thought enters, clean it out with a flood of positive images. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Focus on winning, not on not losing. Begin to daydream, make this daydream the ideal outcome. Not what you will settle for, but what would be perfect.
It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you are not. -- Denis Waitley
Monday, December 29, 2008
Make Procrastination Work for You
Everyone, to some degree, procrastinates. We all put off things that we don't want to do. That doesn't mean we do nothing. Au contraire! Most procrastinators get plenty done; it just isn't what is most important or urgent. Procrastination is the art of doing something else when there are more important things to do. There is a way to make procrastination work for you. Since all of us have this skill to varying degrees of proficiency we might as well put it to use.
The act of delaying is the true gift of procrastination. Until now you might not have thought of it as a gift, but it is. Many people get overbooked and overload their schedules with activities and commitments they don't want to do because they said yes before they really thought about it. Delaying is a great way to prevent over- scheduling and saying yes to things you should decline. When someone asks you to do something, respond that you need to check your schedule. Ask for a day or two to think about it and tell them you will get back with your answer. Use procrastination as a tool to prevent yourself from getting overbooked.
Procrastination will also assist with getting a lot done. I know it sounds strange, but it works exceptionally well. The trick is to have a major project that needs completion, but that you don't want to do it. My house was never cleaner than when I was working on my dissertation. My husband actually caught me outside cleaning the kitchen garbage can with a toothbrush. When he asked what I was doing I replied, "Avoiding working on my dissertation." I knew exactly what I was doing and it worked. I got a lot accomplished including my dissertation. The key is to leverage the advantage of procrastination. Let it move you to complete all the jobs you want to get done. You will still have time to complete the big job you have been avoiding.
Procrastination has a bad reputation, but the truth is that it can help you accomplish a great deal. Use procrastination to your advantage. Use it to delay saying yes to everything. This way you will give yourself time to think, and you won't get overbooked. It will also help you get things done because, when you are procrastinating, you aren't just sitting around. You are doing any task to avoid doing what you need to be doing. That is fine, and actually you will get twice as much done. So stop beating yourself up and enjoy perfecting the art of procrastination.
The act of delaying is the true gift of procrastination. Until now you might not have thought of it as a gift, but it is. Many people get overbooked and overload their schedules with activities and commitments they don't want to do because they said yes before they really thought about it. Delaying is a great way to prevent over- scheduling and saying yes to things you should decline. When someone asks you to do something, respond that you need to check your schedule. Ask for a day or two to think about it and tell them you will get back with your answer. Use procrastination as a tool to prevent yourself from getting overbooked.
Procrastination will also assist with getting a lot done. I know it sounds strange, but it works exceptionally well. The trick is to have a major project that needs completion, but that you don't want to do it. My house was never cleaner than when I was working on my dissertation. My husband actually caught me outside cleaning the kitchen garbage can with a toothbrush. When he asked what I was doing I replied, "Avoiding working on my dissertation." I knew exactly what I was doing and it worked. I got a lot accomplished including my dissertation. The key is to leverage the advantage of procrastination. Let it move you to complete all the jobs you want to get done. You will still have time to complete the big job you have been avoiding.
Procrastination has a bad reputation, but the truth is that it can help you accomplish a great deal. Use procrastination to your advantage. Use it to delay saying yes to everything. This way you will give yourself time to think, and you won't get overbooked. It will also help you get things done because, when you are procrastinating, you aren't just sitting around. You are doing any task to avoid doing what you need to be doing. That is fine, and actually you will get twice as much done. So stop beating yourself up and enjoy perfecting the art of procrastination.
Make It Your Destiny To Accomplish Great Things In Your Life
From this moment on, choose not to let your past dictate your future. What is gone is gone – forever. Now is the time to move on, to do and become what you want: to be the best in any area that you choose, so you may design your own destiny.
Here are a few helpful suggestions that you may take on board, and below you will find a couple of simple tips that can quickly move you in the direction of manifesting your destiny to accomplish many great things in your life.
To join ranks with the most successful people in the field of your choice, or merely to achieve your dreams quietly, for yourself, you will need to take the journey toward a better more enlightened future; toward a more empowered and motivated you, toward a life that you will design and achieve. You will live your life as you want it. And you will become that person you have been dreaming of becoming.
Invest in life – in your life. No more wavering dreams, staring out the window and wishing and hoping. No more sleepless nights worrying about your future as you only see where you are now.
This time it is for real. What you are dreaming of will happen, and in abundance. From today, you will move forward in your life in a dramatic way. You will do what is required of you to accomplish your daily goals, big and small, and you will always expect to succeed at everything you do.
Embrace your unlimited power and build a life of excellence. Success is your one and only option. Fill all of your days with accomplishments, no matter how small you may think they are. It is important, at this point, to realise that most successes stem from your ability to feel certain that you can set out to achieve what it is that you desire – to accomplish great things in your life. And for you to feel certain, you need to become confident.
One of the principle prerequisites to achieving almost anything in life is confidence. Confidence is an indispensable requirement to your success and further development or betterment, be it for your personal or professional needs. Confidence is the doorway to success and fulfilment. With confidence you will have the courage, strength and motivation to tackle and overcome all life’s setbacks and challenges.
The great news is that confidence is a learned skill, and anyone can learn the skills to having awesome and unstoppable confidence.
As promised, here are just a couple of confidence tips that I believe are easy to do and are extremely effective. By repeating the simple tips daily, they will retrain your thinking and become an automatic part of your new successful and confident habit. They will become your new way of life.
Challenge your thoughts that have been holding you back and stretch your mind to raise your limits to unlimited heights.
At the end of each day, put yourself into a confident and resourceful state of mind by jotting down in your diary or daily journal, all of the day’s achievements, no matter how small.
Benefit: The mere act of writing them down reinforces the idea of success and confidence. It is extremely beneficial and motivating for you to feel the successes from deep within so your mind acknowledges them as confident achievements.
Just before going to bed, conceive and initiate your ideal day. Once you have gone through your diary and planned your next day, sit back and take a few minutes to imagine and visualise the entire day, from beginning to end. See it unfolding exactly how you would want it to be, in every situation. Feel the confident emotions that come from success, with the feeling that you have accomplished all that you wanted.
Benefit: When you go to sleep, your unconscious mind will work all night on ways to bring about that which you have just visualised.
Truly make it your destiny to accomplish many great things in your lifetime by adopting a vital ingredient to success, and that is confidence. With confidence you discard worry, hesitation and fear. With confidence you rise above challenges and failures. With confidence you have unlimited motivation and unrelenting persistence.
Do not underestimate the immense power of confidence. Go ahead, reap the rewards and accomplish many great things in your lifetime.
Here are a few helpful suggestions that you may take on board, and below you will find a couple of simple tips that can quickly move you in the direction of manifesting your destiny to accomplish many great things in your life.
To join ranks with the most successful people in the field of your choice, or merely to achieve your dreams quietly, for yourself, you will need to take the journey toward a better more enlightened future; toward a more empowered and motivated you, toward a life that you will design and achieve. You will live your life as you want it. And you will become that person you have been dreaming of becoming.
Invest in life – in your life. No more wavering dreams, staring out the window and wishing and hoping. No more sleepless nights worrying about your future as you only see where you are now.
This time it is for real. What you are dreaming of will happen, and in abundance. From today, you will move forward in your life in a dramatic way. You will do what is required of you to accomplish your daily goals, big and small, and you will always expect to succeed at everything you do.
Embrace your unlimited power and build a life of excellence. Success is your one and only option. Fill all of your days with accomplishments, no matter how small you may think they are. It is important, at this point, to realise that most successes stem from your ability to feel certain that you can set out to achieve what it is that you desire – to accomplish great things in your life. And for you to feel certain, you need to become confident.
One of the principle prerequisites to achieving almost anything in life is confidence. Confidence is an indispensable requirement to your success and further development or betterment, be it for your personal or professional needs. Confidence is the doorway to success and fulfilment. With confidence you will have the courage, strength and motivation to tackle and overcome all life’s setbacks and challenges.
The great news is that confidence is a learned skill, and anyone can learn the skills to having awesome and unstoppable confidence.
As promised, here are just a couple of confidence tips that I believe are easy to do and are extremely effective. By repeating the simple tips daily, they will retrain your thinking and become an automatic part of your new successful and confident habit. They will become your new way of life.
Challenge your thoughts that have been holding you back and stretch your mind to raise your limits to unlimited heights.
At the end of each day, put yourself into a confident and resourceful state of mind by jotting down in your diary or daily journal, all of the day’s achievements, no matter how small.
Benefit: The mere act of writing them down reinforces the idea of success and confidence. It is extremely beneficial and motivating for you to feel the successes from deep within so your mind acknowledges them as confident achievements.
Just before going to bed, conceive and initiate your ideal day. Once you have gone through your diary and planned your next day, sit back and take a few minutes to imagine and visualise the entire day, from beginning to end. See it unfolding exactly how you would want it to be, in every situation. Feel the confident emotions that come from success, with the feeling that you have accomplished all that you wanted.
Benefit: When you go to sleep, your unconscious mind will work all night on ways to bring about that which you have just visualised.
Truly make it your destiny to accomplish many great things in your lifetime by adopting a vital ingredient to success, and that is confidence. With confidence you discard worry, hesitation and fear. With confidence you rise above challenges and failures. With confidence you have unlimited motivation and unrelenting persistence.
Do not underestimate the immense power of confidence. Go ahead, reap the rewards and accomplish many great things in your lifetime.
Maintaining a Positive Attitude Is Good For Business
And the end result of managing your time properly should be fostering the right attitude for business. Here are six ways to build a positive attitude.
1. Be Committed It took me a couple of years to reach the point I’m at now. I could have given up any time before I got here and I had a million different reasons for doing so. But I knew what I wanted and stuck it out. That’s the first key to success.
2. Accept Challenges Being your own boss and owner of your own online business can be scary and a bit intimidating. It takes guts to leave a 9 to 5 job and start your own online empire. It takes guts to have a dream and to go for it. You ultimately determine whether your business succeeds or fail.
3. Be In Control. Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you want to do and accomplish. Develop a strategy for dealing with potential problems—and when those problems surface, feel confident in your ability to handle them. The worst you can do is fail.
4. Don’t be too Critical
There is no use criticizing yourself once you’ve made a mistake. Saying “I should have landed that account or handled that situation differently” is not going to make any difference at all. It’s just going to drain you of your energy and discourage you. Simply learn from your mistakes and move on.
5. Practice Makes Perfect
And stop worrying about getting everything right. It’s not going to happen. If Time Warner can buy AOL, you can create a website that bleeds cash. Just keep trying.
6. Ask for Help
You want to work for yourself not by yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Don’t think you’re incompetent simply because you can’t do it all. Professionals hire other professionals to do the job properly. Don’t be afraid to bring in a specialist when you need it.
If I have to warn you that there’s nothing more important than getting the work/family balance right, then the chances are you’re going to learn the hard way. I went into this for the money. But there’s no question that the greatest benefit my business has given me is the extra free time I have to spend with my family. I’m sure if I put that time into building more websites or creating more products, I’d make more money.
But there’s more to life than money.
You can also see that the following myths are simply untrue:
Your site has to have millions of page views to make money.
It doesn’t. Small sites with good conversion ratios can make more cash than large sites with lots of click-through traffic.
Ad revenue and affiliate revenue don’t make money.
It’s easy to make money: just put up a website and the money will roll in.
They do, if you know how to use them.
If only that were true! Making money on the Web takes time, effort and investment.
1. Be Committed It took me a couple of years to reach the point I’m at now. I could have given up any time before I got here and I had a million different reasons for doing so. But I knew what I wanted and stuck it out. That’s the first key to success.
2. Accept Challenges Being your own boss and owner of your own online business can be scary and a bit intimidating. It takes guts to leave a 9 to 5 job and start your own online empire. It takes guts to have a dream and to go for it. You ultimately determine whether your business succeeds or fail.
3. Be In Control. Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you want to do and accomplish. Develop a strategy for dealing with potential problems—and when those problems surface, feel confident in your ability to handle them. The worst you can do is fail.
4. Don’t be too Critical
There is no use criticizing yourself once you’ve made a mistake. Saying “I should have landed that account or handled that situation differently” is not going to make any difference at all. It’s just going to drain you of your energy and discourage you. Simply learn from your mistakes and move on.
5. Practice Makes Perfect
And stop worrying about getting everything right. It’s not going to happen. If Time Warner can buy AOL, you can create a website that bleeds cash. Just keep trying.
6. Ask for Help
You want to work for yourself not by yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Don’t think you’re incompetent simply because you can’t do it all. Professionals hire other professionals to do the job properly. Don’t be afraid to bring in a specialist when you need it.
If I have to warn you that there’s nothing more important than getting the work/family balance right, then the chances are you’re going to learn the hard way. I went into this for the money. But there’s no question that the greatest benefit my business has given me is the extra free time I have to spend with my family. I’m sure if I put that time into building more websites or creating more products, I’d make more money.
But there’s more to life than money.
You can also see that the following myths are simply untrue:
Your site has to have millions of page views to make money.
It doesn’t. Small sites with good conversion ratios can make more cash than large sites with lots of click-through traffic.
Ad revenue and affiliate revenue don’t make money.
It’s easy to make money: just put up a website and the money will roll in.
They do, if you know how to use them.
If only that were true! Making money on the Web takes time, effort and investment.
Love Yourself Like Your Neighbor: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is important to all of us. In the stress literature, it's one of the characteristics of the hardy professional, the professional that remains healthy in the face of the high stress of constant change. It's important, but how do you build and maintain a viable and realistic self-confidence?
One way to look at self-worth is to see it as an inference from what you to say to yourself privately about yourself. It's estimated that you make between 300 to 400 self-evaluations per day. Unfortunately, for the majority of us, those evaluations are far from kind. Most major in self-criticism. Research suggests that for the average person 80% of their self evaluations are negative; only 20 percent are positive.
A good mistake can often be worth 45 minutes of self-whipping-"That was stupid. I can't believe I said that. And they were all watching me. They're probably going home tonight and talking about me!" If that's not bad enough, we have an old file clerk in the back of our brain that responds to our attack and goes back to check the evidence-"Just a minute, boss. Let me check the 'stupid' file here. Why yes, you are stupid! In fact, you're getting worse. This reminds me of the time you..." Most of us are good at making ourselves feel worse, not better.
Even when you do give yourself the luxury of feeling good about something you did, it seldom lasts long. We discount our successes-"I was lucky!" "It's about time; I should've done this weeks ago!" "They could've done better!" When was the last time you lost sleep over a good day? Never!
Even though self-critical, we put our best food forward publicly. We present ourselves as being 95% effective and admit making an occasional mistake to be human. You may fool others, but you don't fool yourself. When you compare what you know about yourself with everyone else's public image, you lose badly. When you major in the self-critical, you end up searching for loved ones, parents, friends, and bosses who will affirm you and make up for your own lack of self-esteem. Unfortunately, when you have to have the support of others, they control your confidence. By withholding approval they can leave you feeling less effective, less confident and more dependent.
You would not talk to others the way you talk to yourself! "You did that? You're stupid! Did anyone see you? They saw you! Do they know I know you? I mean it reminds me of the time you...." Who needs friends like that! If a manager talked to an employee the way you talk to yourself, he could file a grievance and win. You deserve the same if not better treatment than what you would give a friend. Learn to make room for your mistakes as learning experiences.
Since mistakes are a part of life in the fast lane, we need to find ways to be self-critical without majoring in self-whipping. Start by looking at criticism as course-correction data that helps us get back on track in our journey to success. The goal is not conviction or blaming; it's providing future-focused feedback that allows you to be more effective tomorrow!
Scott Adams, the Dilbert Cartoonist, put these insights into practice in dealing with a novice tennis partner: "Once at a tennis tournament, I was paired with a woman who had just learned how to play. Every time she missed a shot, she immediately turned to me, expecting that I would be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, I talked to her about our strategy for the next point. By doing so, I sent a very important message: The past doesn't matter. I didn't encourage her with empty praise-that rarely works. But I know that if she dwelled on a mistake, she was more likely to repeat it, and that if she focused on how we were going to win the next point, she was more likely to help us do just that. Over several days, her abilities improved dramatically and we ended up winning the tournament."
Treat yourself the same way. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes. If you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you will hit a tree out the front window. In fact, that is why your rearview mirror is smaller than your front window. Get out of your rearview mirror and start focusing on driving to a desired future. Try letting go of the general self-attacks; use specific feedback. What did you do that you did not handle well?
Remember, it is easier to admit you made a mistake than to admit you are one. I'm not rude, but I've had moments on the freeways of Los Angeles that I'm not proud of. I know they weren't appreciated either; the other driver didn't even wave with all his fingers.
After identifying a specific mistake, focus on the future by asking two key questions: First, what can you do to rectify the problem? If any constructive action or apology could help rectify the problem, schedule a time to do just that. And secondly, and most importantly, how would you handle the same situation if it should occur again? If you have a valued colleague or friend, use them as a sounding board. If not, write down your thoughts or use these questions to help focus your self-criticism. When you've learned from the past and focused on a new strategy, get back into the game of life.
Self-confidence begins when you can learn from errors, and then move beyond them to consistently improve. Welcome to the challenge of turning your mistakes into stepping stones to making change work for you and your organization. To really make a difference add the habit of ending the day by catching yourself being effective; use your calendar to record one success. You may be winning and not know it if you're not keeping score!
Copyright © 2006 by Terry L. Paulson. All Rights Reserved
One way to look at self-worth is to see it as an inference from what you to say to yourself privately about yourself. It's estimated that you make between 300 to 400 self-evaluations per day. Unfortunately, for the majority of us, those evaluations are far from kind. Most major in self-criticism. Research suggests that for the average person 80% of their self evaluations are negative; only 20 percent are positive.
A good mistake can often be worth 45 minutes of self-whipping-"That was stupid. I can't believe I said that. And they were all watching me. They're probably going home tonight and talking about me!" If that's not bad enough, we have an old file clerk in the back of our brain that responds to our attack and goes back to check the evidence-"Just a minute, boss. Let me check the 'stupid' file here. Why yes, you are stupid! In fact, you're getting worse. This reminds me of the time you..." Most of us are good at making ourselves feel worse, not better.
Even when you do give yourself the luxury of feeling good about something you did, it seldom lasts long. We discount our successes-"I was lucky!" "It's about time; I should've done this weeks ago!" "They could've done better!" When was the last time you lost sleep over a good day? Never!
Even though self-critical, we put our best food forward publicly. We present ourselves as being 95% effective and admit making an occasional mistake to be human. You may fool others, but you don't fool yourself. When you compare what you know about yourself with everyone else's public image, you lose badly. When you major in the self-critical, you end up searching for loved ones, parents, friends, and bosses who will affirm you and make up for your own lack of self-esteem. Unfortunately, when you have to have the support of others, they control your confidence. By withholding approval they can leave you feeling less effective, less confident and more dependent.
You would not talk to others the way you talk to yourself! "You did that? You're stupid! Did anyone see you? They saw you! Do they know I know you? I mean it reminds me of the time you...." Who needs friends like that! If a manager talked to an employee the way you talk to yourself, he could file a grievance and win. You deserve the same if not better treatment than what you would give a friend. Learn to make room for your mistakes as learning experiences.
Since mistakes are a part of life in the fast lane, we need to find ways to be self-critical without majoring in self-whipping. Start by looking at criticism as course-correction data that helps us get back on track in our journey to success. The goal is not conviction or blaming; it's providing future-focused feedback that allows you to be more effective tomorrow!
Scott Adams, the Dilbert Cartoonist, put these insights into practice in dealing with a novice tennis partner: "Once at a tennis tournament, I was paired with a woman who had just learned how to play. Every time she missed a shot, she immediately turned to me, expecting that I would be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, I talked to her about our strategy for the next point. By doing so, I sent a very important message: The past doesn't matter. I didn't encourage her with empty praise-that rarely works. But I know that if she dwelled on a mistake, she was more likely to repeat it, and that if she focused on how we were going to win the next point, she was more likely to help us do just that. Over several days, her abilities improved dramatically and we ended up winning the tournament."
Treat yourself the same way. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes. If you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you will hit a tree out the front window. In fact, that is why your rearview mirror is smaller than your front window. Get out of your rearview mirror and start focusing on driving to a desired future. Try letting go of the general self-attacks; use specific feedback. What did you do that you did not handle well?
Remember, it is easier to admit you made a mistake than to admit you are one. I'm not rude, but I've had moments on the freeways of Los Angeles that I'm not proud of. I know they weren't appreciated either; the other driver didn't even wave with all his fingers.
After identifying a specific mistake, focus on the future by asking two key questions: First, what can you do to rectify the problem? If any constructive action or apology could help rectify the problem, schedule a time to do just that. And secondly, and most importantly, how would you handle the same situation if it should occur again? If you have a valued colleague or friend, use them as a sounding board. If not, write down your thoughts or use these questions to help focus your self-criticism. When you've learned from the past and focused on a new strategy, get back into the game of life.
Self-confidence begins when you can learn from errors, and then move beyond them to consistently improve. Welcome to the challenge of turning your mistakes into stepping stones to making change work for you and your organization. To really make a difference add the habit of ending the day by catching yourself being effective; use your calendar to record one success. You may be winning and not know it if you're not keeping score!
Copyright © 2006 by Terry L. Paulson. All Rights Reserved
Living in the Now: Use it to Enrich Your Life
At about this time of year, some months after New Year’s resolutions have been made and kept, or made and neglected, one thing is undeniable: we have a chance to learn and grow every day, no matter what we did not do yesterday or neglected to do last week.
Make Use of This Moment
Making use of this moment, of the NOW, is a principle that stress management experts, psycho-therapists, meditators, and many authors such as Dr. Wayne Dyer, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Eckhart Tolle have been talking and writing about for years.
The only moment, the only life we have is in the NOW. What happened a few moments or several years ago is gone, what will happen this evening, or next month when we go on holidays is not here yet. Thus, if we live our lives thinking about past events or future possibilities, we are literally not living our life.
Developing Flow
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a wonderful little book “Finding Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” which addresses the issue of the importance of remaining in the moment, of the inestimable value we can find in those activities that cause us to “go into flow”, or lose our sense of time.
When you discover what those activities are in your life, they need to be developed. Is it music, writing, or painting, or another creative activity? Is it being outdoors and practicing some kind of sport? Is it working on your computer or editing digital movies? Perhaps you are an avid reader, observer of documentaries about the hunch-backed camel, or participant in the Dakar rally and spend all year preparing. Whatever it is, cultivate it, make it expand in your life, and use it to enrich yourself. These activities are priceless ways of being – and remaining - in the now.
But that is not all.
Nurture the Now at All Times
Being in the now needs to be nurtured at all times. The more time you spend in the now, the more you actually live your life. Yesterday – and even just one short hour ago – is gone. Tomorrow is not yet here. Now is what we have. Now is the time of our life. Now is the time for living.
Start by gently bringing yourself to this moment more and more often on a daily basis. If you are at work, with your partner or family, or simply running errands, become aware of what you are doing, actually participate consciously in your daily activities … don’t just get through them in order to be able to do something else later on. Doing that means that you have lost this moment forever.
Stay in the Now
By staying in the now, notice how you seem to have more time. Notice how you feel less stressed. Notice all that is potentially enjoyable, positive, or could be a latent learning experience in the now moment. Even if you are going through a difficult situation, remain aware and in the now in order to better understand what is happening and in order to get to know yourself more intimately by observing your feelings, thoughts, and possible reactions.
Live here rather than in the past or the future. The more you practice, the more it will become a habit, and the more you will truly live your life, rather than just live on memories of past glories or future hopes and plans.
Make Use of This Moment
Making use of this moment, of the NOW, is a principle that stress management experts, psycho-therapists, meditators, and many authors such as Dr. Wayne Dyer, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Eckhart Tolle have been talking and writing about for years.
The only moment, the only life we have is in the NOW. What happened a few moments or several years ago is gone, what will happen this evening, or next month when we go on holidays is not here yet. Thus, if we live our lives thinking about past events or future possibilities, we are literally not living our life.
Developing Flow
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a wonderful little book “Finding Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” which addresses the issue of the importance of remaining in the moment, of the inestimable value we can find in those activities that cause us to “go into flow”, or lose our sense of time.
When you discover what those activities are in your life, they need to be developed. Is it music, writing, or painting, or another creative activity? Is it being outdoors and practicing some kind of sport? Is it working on your computer or editing digital movies? Perhaps you are an avid reader, observer of documentaries about the hunch-backed camel, or participant in the Dakar rally and spend all year preparing. Whatever it is, cultivate it, make it expand in your life, and use it to enrich yourself. These activities are priceless ways of being – and remaining - in the now.
But that is not all.
Nurture the Now at All Times
Being in the now needs to be nurtured at all times. The more time you spend in the now, the more you actually live your life. Yesterday – and even just one short hour ago – is gone. Tomorrow is not yet here. Now is what we have. Now is the time of our life. Now is the time for living.
Start by gently bringing yourself to this moment more and more often on a daily basis. If you are at work, with your partner or family, or simply running errands, become aware of what you are doing, actually participate consciously in your daily activities … don’t just get through them in order to be able to do something else later on. Doing that means that you have lost this moment forever.
Stay in the Now
By staying in the now, notice how you seem to have more time. Notice how you feel less stressed. Notice all that is potentially enjoyable, positive, or could be a latent learning experience in the now moment. Even if you are going through a difficult situation, remain aware and in the now in order to better understand what is happening and in order to get to know yourself more intimately by observing your feelings, thoughts, and possible reactions.
Live here rather than in the past or the future. The more you practice, the more it will become a habit, and the more you will truly live your life, rather than just live on memories of past glories or future hopes and plans.
Little Things Do Make a Difference
Think back over your life. Think about the people that had a positive influence on you. If your past was like mine, many of them didn’t realize the impact they made. The influence was usually due to them caring about you and doing some little thing. What little things have been done for you that changed your life? What little things have you done for someone else that might have changed theirs?
I have been influenced by little things done by others.
I had a boss that asked whether I had the guts to take a job he felt I could do. It was a job I wasn’t even qualified to apply for. That question influenced me to set my career goals at a higher level and faster pace than they were at that time.
When I attended my first Toastmasters meeting the group made me feel welcome from the moment I set foot in the room. One person made it a point to introduce me to several members before the first meeting started. Another leaned over to me on my second visit, just before my first speech, to let me know what to expect and to let me know I would do great. I am grateful to both of them.
Children can influence us as well. A great example of this happened to me at a Cub Scout summer camp here in my hometown of Fredericksburg, Virginia. For those of you who are not familiar with Cub Scouts, the boys range from 1st through 5th grade. I showed up on the morning of the first day of camp just to make sure everything went smooth for our group. We got everyone registered for the week’s events, set up a canopy where the scouts and leaders could get under some shade for lunch and then headed to the flagpole. At the flagpole, all of the camp participants said the Pledge of Allegiance and then the camp leader started to give instructions. In the middle of the instructions, one of the 1st grade boys tugged on my pant leg. When I looked down at him, he had the biggest smile on his face. He said, "Mr. Carr, I’m having a really good time" and he meant it! They hadn’t even started their first camp activity yet. At that moment, I knew all of the hours I put in as a scout leader were well worth it.
I have found that we can influence others by doing little things for them.
You can influence others by providing help when it is needed. When I say provide help, I am not just talking about offering to help. Most people will not take you up on an offer even if they desperately need it. I remember taking food to a couple that was sick. This was not anyone I knew. It was a friend of someone that was in my Sunday school class. Two years later they saw me, thanked me and told me how much that meant to them. They even remembered my name after two years! Another way I have helped was to provide advice to coworkers that now refer to me as their mentor. Also, to help families pack up a truck to move. Some of these families are friends of ours today even though they live several states away.
Another way I have found that you can influence others is by saying "thank you." I don’t think I ever realized the power of saying thank you until a few months ago. I was at a professional symposium in Northern Virginia. I was one of the symposium leaders. During a lunch break, I stayed in the room where one of the classes was being given to watch all of the personal belongings of the students while they were at lunch. During the break, three of the hotel workers came into the room to fill water pitchers and put out clean glasses. One of the workers was obviously a mentally challenged person that was hired to help. His job was to put the clean glasses on the tables. When he serviced the table I was sitting at I said a simple "thank you." I will never forget the look on his face. I could have told him he won the lottery and he couldn’t have looked any more excited! Even after they left the room to go to the next, I could still hear him shouting as loud as he could about the "nice man."
Writing notes is a third way you can potentially influence others. I started writing thank you notes a couple of years ago (for reasons other than receiving a gift). I have been thanked over and over for some of these notes of appreciation and told I didn’t have to do that. I have recently learned and started using at times a new way of writing notes. I learned it from Charlie "Tremendous" Jones who has since encouraged me to pass this method along to others. Purchase some inexpensive, inspirational books that have had a positive impact on you. Write an encouraging note inside the cover of one of those books and give it to the person. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it. What a powerful gesture!
Start today doing little things for others.
I can look back over my past and remember several moments in time that God used someone doing a little thing that encouraged me. I have also heard from others that have been influenced by me for doing the same. There are many kinds of little things you can do to encourage others. Some of these involve providing help when there is a need, saying thank you, and writing notes. What are you going to do today for someone that will make a difference in his or her life?
I have been influenced by little things done by others.
I had a boss that asked whether I had the guts to take a job he felt I could do. It was a job I wasn’t even qualified to apply for. That question influenced me to set my career goals at a higher level and faster pace than they were at that time.
When I attended my first Toastmasters meeting the group made me feel welcome from the moment I set foot in the room. One person made it a point to introduce me to several members before the first meeting started. Another leaned over to me on my second visit, just before my first speech, to let me know what to expect and to let me know I would do great. I am grateful to both of them.
Children can influence us as well. A great example of this happened to me at a Cub Scout summer camp here in my hometown of Fredericksburg, Virginia. For those of you who are not familiar with Cub Scouts, the boys range from 1st through 5th grade. I showed up on the morning of the first day of camp just to make sure everything went smooth for our group. We got everyone registered for the week’s events, set up a canopy where the scouts and leaders could get under some shade for lunch and then headed to the flagpole. At the flagpole, all of the camp participants said the Pledge of Allegiance and then the camp leader started to give instructions. In the middle of the instructions, one of the 1st grade boys tugged on my pant leg. When I looked down at him, he had the biggest smile on his face. He said, "Mr. Carr, I’m having a really good time" and he meant it! They hadn’t even started their first camp activity yet. At that moment, I knew all of the hours I put in as a scout leader were well worth it.
I have found that we can influence others by doing little things for them.
You can influence others by providing help when it is needed. When I say provide help, I am not just talking about offering to help. Most people will not take you up on an offer even if they desperately need it. I remember taking food to a couple that was sick. This was not anyone I knew. It was a friend of someone that was in my Sunday school class. Two years later they saw me, thanked me and told me how much that meant to them. They even remembered my name after two years! Another way I have helped was to provide advice to coworkers that now refer to me as their mentor. Also, to help families pack up a truck to move. Some of these families are friends of ours today even though they live several states away.
Another way I have found that you can influence others is by saying "thank you." I don’t think I ever realized the power of saying thank you until a few months ago. I was at a professional symposium in Northern Virginia. I was one of the symposium leaders. During a lunch break, I stayed in the room where one of the classes was being given to watch all of the personal belongings of the students while they were at lunch. During the break, three of the hotel workers came into the room to fill water pitchers and put out clean glasses. One of the workers was obviously a mentally challenged person that was hired to help. His job was to put the clean glasses on the tables. When he serviced the table I was sitting at I said a simple "thank you." I will never forget the look on his face. I could have told him he won the lottery and he couldn’t have looked any more excited! Even after they left the room to go to the next, I could still hear him shouting as loud as he could about the "nice man."
Writing notes is a third way you can potentially influence others. I started writing thank you notes a couple of years ago (for reasons other than receiving a gift). I have been thanked over and over for some of these notes of appreciation and told I didn’t have to do that. I have recently learned and started using at times a new way of writing notes. I learned it from Charlie "Tremendous" Jones who has since encouraged me to pass this method along to others. Purchase some inexpensive, inspirational books that have had a positive impact on you. Write an encouraging note inside the cover of one of those books and give it to the person. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it. What a powerful gesture!
Start today doing little things for others.
I can look back over my past and remember several moments in time that God used someone doing a little thing that encouraged me. I have also heard from others that have been influenced by me for doing the same. There are many kinds of little things you can do to encourage others. Some of these involve providing help when there is a need, saying thank you, and writing notes. What are you going to do today for someone that will make a difference in his or her life?
Lighten Your Load
Do you feel like a pack mule carrying around a heavy load? It is no wonder we are always exhausted with the load most of us carry. It’s not only the physical stuff we carry but also the emotional and mental load of the stuff we carry in our heads. Everyday when I go to work I see people burdened down by backpacks, briefcases, laptop cases, purses, bags, rolling carts and more! Why is everyone always carrying so much stuff? Maybe you job is such that you have to take all that paperwork home with you every night. But do you work on it or are you too exhausted? So then what happens? You carry it back to work the next day! We bring laptops home to work on them but do we? You carry your workout clothes, water bottle, cd’s, books, extra shoes and a ton of other stuff “just in case”. Ask yourself how you would feel if you didn’t have all this stuff with you everyday?
How is your home? Lots of stuff there too? Are you a pack rat saving things for a rainy day? Magazines stacking up for the day you have time to read them? Clothes hanging in the closet that you haven’t worn in years? Boxes of stuff packed away that you don’t even know what is them anymore? Junk mail piling up on the counter?
Having lots of stuff around you clutters your mind. It starts to overwhelm you and you don’t know where to start. You start to worry about it, what to do with it, where to put it. Pretty soon you can even think about it anymore and then it just continues to get worse.
Then there is the emotional baggage you might be carrying. Anger, depression, financial concerns, relationships, employment can all add to an already heavy load. If you start to deal with these issues you may find it is easier to deal with the other clutter in your life. At the same time you may find getting rid of the physical clutter will help your emotional and mental load.
Start to lighten your load by making a list. What is the number one thing you could do to lighten your load? Next outline the steps you need to take to start reducing the clutter in your life. Break it down into small steps such as cleaning out one closet, not the whole house. Sell off, giveaway or throw out the stuff you no longer need. Have a garage sale or sell off stuff on ebay. Use the money you earn for treating yourself to a day at a spa. Make a vow not to keep carrying the same stuff back and forth to the office.
Once you start to lighten your load you will feel like you have more energy, clearer thoughts and a happier outlook on life. You will no longer have to worry about all that stuff that has been cluttering your life. You will find you can travel farther in life with a lighter load.
How is your home? Lots of stuff there too? Are you a pack rat saving things for a rainy day? Magazines stacking up for the day you have time to read them? Clothes hanging in the closet that you haven’t worn in years? Boxes of stuff packed away that you don’t even know what is them anymore? Junk mail piling up on the counter?
Having lots of stuff around you clutters your mind. It starts to overwhelm you and you don’t know where to start. You start to worry about it, what to do with it, where to put it. Pretty soon you can even think about it anymore and then it just continues to get worse.
Then there is the emotional baggage you might be carrying. Anger, depression, financial concerns, relationships, employment can all add to an already heavy load. If you start to deal with these issues you may find it is easier to deal with the other clutter in your life. At the same time you may find getting rid of the physical clutter will help your emotional and mental load.
Start to lighten your load by making a list. What is the number one thing you could do to lighten your load? Next outline the steps you need to take to start reducing the clutter in your life. Break it down into small steps such as cleaning out one closet, not the whole house. Sell off, giveaway or throw out the stuff you no longer need. Have a garage sale or sell off stuff on ebay. Use the money you earn for treating yourself to a day at a spa. Make a vow not to keep carrying the same stuff back and forth to the office.
Once you start to lighten your load you will feel like you have more energy, clearer thoughts and a happier outlook on life. You will no longer have to worry about all that stuff that has been cluttering your life. You will find you can travel farther in life with a lighter load.
Learn To Love Growth And Change And You Will Be A Success.
Do you want to be even more successful? Learn to love learning and growth. The more effort you put into improving your skills, the bigger the payoff you will get. Realize that things will be hard at first, but the rewards will be worth it.
Many of us have to be reminded that almost everything worthwhile in our lives is hard at first. Learning to walk was hard at first, but gradually we learned and now it is effortless. The same holds true for our more advanced skills such as, sports, music, art, etc. We forget these past struggles to learn and take them for granted now.
When most people begin to try something for the first time, it usually doesn’t turn out particularly well. It doesn’t mean we are bad, or stupid, or anything like that, it just means that most things of any complexity take awhile to learn.
Given this, the surprising thing is how most people react when they begin to learn a new skill and it does not go well. Most people at that point feel such things as surprise, anger, frustration, and so on. We forget that the expression “beginners luck” means that doing something well at first is a fluke. We forget it isn’t supposed to be easy; it is almost against the laws of nature for something to be good at first.
So what is a more positive way to handle the difficulties we will encounter when we are learning something new? We should take the attitude that we are supposed to fail at first, that is the way the system works. We should look for a way to find fascination with the process, and build enjoyment of the ups and downs into the process. We need to recognize the difficulties we will face and build them into the time and effort we plan on expending on the project. This is one place in your life where a healthy dose of pessimism will pay off. Just planning for difficulty will take much of the negative emotions we feel in these situations away.
Lets look at another situation where we encounter difficulty at first. Almost anything involving change is very hard for us to incorporate into our lives at first. One of my favorite expressions regarding change is “the only kind of change we like, is the change in our pocket.” Making the decision to change is easy, it is just a decision. Staying changed is hard. We want to fall back to our old ways; we are discouraged, uncomfortable and so on. One again we are learning something new and it helps to build this into our plan for change.
In addition to learning to enjoy the process as above, we can add another element to help us through learning something new or the change process. We can keep reviewing the goal we are seeking, the payoff, etc. and continually tell ourselves that the pain is temporary, but the payoff is permanent. We need to take the pain and frustration and deal with it minute by minute, telling ourselves to hang on, hang on, we can make it. Life is a series of minutes we can make it through.
Many people use visualization techniques to help them learn a new skill or deal with change. They “daydream” or use guided imagery to see themselves going through the process of learning or change and attaining the goal. A person on a diet can see himself f becoming thinner and thinner, easing the pain and giving them the sense they can do it. The same with a new skill such as golf. They see themselves hitting the ball, in just the right way, and they see the golf ball going right where they want it. A word of caution regarding using visualization to learn a new skill. The technique is very, very powerful and you will tend to perform exactly like you visualized it, so if you visualize the wrong technique, chances are you will actually perform the wrong technique. So be very sure of the proper technique before you used visualization to help you master it.
One last point. I have stressed the need to recognize that new things will be hard to learn at first. While this “negative” view is helpful, it must be balanced with a positive outlook for the whole project. Plan and expect problems at first, but also plan and expect that you will eventually master the situation. Planning for a positive outcome will help give you the willpower to see the situation through and enable things that are needed to move you ahead to appear when they are needed. Remember if we expect good things, we tend to get good things.
Many of us have to be reminded that almost everything worthwhile in our lives is hard at first. Learning to walk was hard at first, but gradually we learned and now it is effortless. The same holds true for our more advanced skills such as, sports, music, art, etc. We forget these past struggles to learn and take them for granted now.
When most people begin to try something for the first time, it usually doesn’t turn out particularly well. It doesn’t mean we are bad, or stupid, or anything like that, it just means that most things of any complexity take awhile to learn.
Given this, the surprising thing is how most people react when they begin to learn a new skill and it does not go well. Most people at that point feel such things as surprise, anger, frustration, and so on. We forget that the expression “beginners luck” means that doing something well at first is a fluke. We forget it isn’t supposed to be easy; it is almost against the laws of nature for something to be good at first.
So what is a more positive way to handle the difficulties we will encounter when we are learning something new? We should take the attitude that we are supposed to fail at first, that is the way the system works. We should look for a way to find fascination with the process, and build enjoyment of the ups and downs into the process. We need to recognize the difficulties we will face and build them into the time and effort we plan on expending on the project. This is one place in your life where a healthy dose of pessimism will pay off. Just planning for difficulty will take much of the negative emotions we feel in these situations away.
Lets look at another situation where we encounter difficulty at first. Almost anything involving change is very hard for us to incorporate into our lives at first. One of my favorite expressions regarding change is “the only kind of change we like, is the change in our pocket.” Making the decision to change is easy, it is just a decision. Staying changed is hard. We want to fall back to our old ways; we are discouraged, uncomfortable and so on. One again we are learning something new and it helps to build this into our plan for change.
In addition to learning to enjoy the process as above, we can add another element to help us through learning something new or the change process. We can keep reviewing the goal we are seeking, the payoff, etc. and continually tell ourselves that the pain is temporary, but the payoff is permanent. We need to take the pain and frustration and deal with it minute by minute, telling ourselves to hang on, hang on, we can make it. Life is a series of minutes we can make it through.
Many people use visualization techniques to help them learn a new skill or deal with change. They “daydream” or use guided imagery to see themselves going through the process of learning or change and attaining the goal. A person on a diet can see himself f becoming thinner and thinner, easing the pain and giving them the sense they can do it. The same with a new skill such as golf. They see themselves hitting the ball, in just the right way, and they see the golf ball going right where they want it. A word of caution regarding using visualization to learn a new skill. The technique is very, very powerful and you will tend to perform exactly like you visualized it, so if you visualize the wrong technique, chances are you will actually perform the wrong technique. So be very sure of the proper technique before you used visualization to help you master it.
One last point. I have stressed the need to recognize that new things will be hard to learn at first. While this “negative” view is helpful, it must be balanced with a positive outlook for the whole project. Plan and expect problems at first, but also plan and expect that you will eventually master the situation. Planning for a positive outcome will help give you the willpower to see the situation through and enable things that are needed to move you ahead to appear when they are needed. Remember if we expect good things, we tend to get good things.
Learn to face difficulty
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
-- Seneca the Younger
This is a great quote to both contemplate and to apply to your life.
How often do you hear people complain? Pick a topic-love, friendship, careers, etc. The list of issues that people complain about is endless. You and I are no different. Perhaps we don't complain about each of these things but more than likely there is something that we complain about with great regularity.
Now, sometimes complaints are simply a way to vent some frustration at the moment but we don't really want anything to change in this area. However, more often than not, someone regularly complains about one specific problem
If I had a dollar for every time I heard one friend complain about the difficulty of finding a good man I could throw her a huge wedding bash or perhaps simply buy her a husband in some small third-world country. When I thought about my friend Donna's problem and applied Seneca's quote to it a light bulb suddenly appeared above my head just like in the cartoons!
It was true! Donna is having difficulty finding a good man simply because she isn't daring enough. Sure she goes out on dates and tries to maintain an active social life, however she holds herself aloof emotionally. She isn't willing to dare much at all when it comes to her heart-so how can she hope that someone else will do so for her? Sure, there might be someone, somewhere, but she is also missing out on relationships, at least friendships, with some really great guys simply because she is too afraid to dare to care.
That is sad. We all know that love is marvelous but it is also frightening, however we have to take risks in order to experience it fully. Sometimes we might get hurt however more often than not we will find the rewards outweigh the risks. There is no guarantee that is Donna opens herself up and dares to love that she will find the love of her life-however there is certainly a guarantee that a life filled with love is more rewarding than one that is not.
I have another friend who is also afraid to dare. Jeff hates his job. No, that's not exactly right. He loves the work itself but he really hates the company that he works for. He finds the management very difficult to work for (and if even a small percentage of the stories he tells are true then he's right, it is a horrible place to work).
However, every time I suggest he look for a job somewhere else he comes up with some excuse about how difficult it would be. True the job market isn't great, but he's a skilled worker in a high-demand field so I'm sure he could find something. He's doomed his job search before he even started it because he's not daring enough.
It wouldn't be fair to share my friends' examples without pointing to my own shortcomings. Probably the greatest difficulty in my own life is within my marriage and that is simply because I don't dare enough emotionally there. I have become too complaisant and take my husband and marriage for granted. I need to dare more emotionally.
So think about the difficulties in your own life and apply Seneca's rule then decide if you can be more daring! All the best!
-- Seneca the Younger
This is a great quote to both contemplate and to apply to your life.
How often do you hear people complain? Pick a topic-love, friendship, careers, etc. The list of issues that people complain about is endless. You and I are no different. Perhaps we don't complain about each of these things but more than likely there is something that we complain about with great regularity.
Now, sometimes complaints are simply a way to vent some frustration at the moment but we don't really want anything to change in this area. However, more often than not, someone regularly complains about one specific problem
If I had a dollar for every time I heard one friend complain about the difficulty of finding a good man I could throw her a huge wedding bash or perhaps simply buy her a husband in some small third-world country. When I thought about my friend Donna's problem and applied Seneca's quote to it a light bulb suddenly appeared above my head just like in the cartoons!
It was true! Donna is having difficulty finding a good man simply because she isn't daring enough. Sure she goes out on dates and tries to maintain an active social life, however she holds herself aloof emotionally. She isn't willing to dare much at all when it comes to her heart-so how can she hope that someone else will do so for her? Sure, there might be someone, somewhere, but she is also missing out on relationships, at least friendships, with some really great guys simply because she is too afraid to dare to care.
That is sad. We all know that love is marvelous but it is also frightening, however we have to take risks in order to experience it fully. Sometimes we might get hurt however more often than not we will find the rewards outweigh the risks. There is no guarantee that is Donna opens herself up and dares to love that she will find the love of her life-however there is certainly a guarantee that a life filled with love is more rewarding than one that is not.
I have another friend who is also afraid to dare. Jeff hates his job. No, that's not exactly right. He loves the work itself but he really hates the company that he works for. He finds the management very difficult to work for (and if even a small percentage of the stories he tells are true then he's right, it is a horrible place to work).
However, every time I suggest he look for a job somewhere else he comes up with some excuse about how difficult it would be. True the job market isn't great, but he's a skilled worker in a high-demand field so I'm sure he could find something. He's doomed his job search before he even started it because he's not daring enough.
It wouldn't be fair to share my friends' examples without pointing to my own shortcomings. Probably the greatest difficulty in my own life is within my marriage and that is simply because I don't dare enough emotionally there. I have become too complaisant and take my husband and marriage for granted. I need to dare more emotionally.
So think about the difficulties in your own life and apply Seneca's rule then decide if you can be more daring! All the best!
Learn how to motivate yourself
"Motivation will almost always beat mere talent."
~ Norman Augustine
I truly believe Augustine's words are true and if you look at history you know it is true. There are many people in the world with amazing talents who realize only a small percentage of their potential. We all know people who live this truth.
We also know those epic stories, those modern-day legends surrounding the early failures of such supremely successful folks as Michael Jordan and Bill Gates. We can look a bit further back in time to Albert Einstein or even further back to Abraham Lincoln. What made each of these people so successful? Motivation.
We know this in our gut, but what can we do about it? How can we motivate ourselves? One of the most difficult aspects of achieving success is staying motivated over the long haul.
Motivation is not an accident or something that someone else can give you -- you are the only one with the power to motivate you. Motivation cannot be an external force, it must come from within as the natural product of your desire to achieve something and your belief that you are capable to succeed at your goal.
Positive pleasure-oriented goals are much more powerful motivators than negative fear-based ones. Although each is successful separately, the right combination of both is the most powerful motivational force known to humankind.
Here are some tips and methods for motivating yourself:
~ Use a past defeat as a motivator. Remind yourself you have nowhere to go except up as you have already been at the bottom.
~ Give yourself the power of responsibility. Remind yourself the only thing stopping you is yourself.
~ Make a list of your achievements toward your long-term goal and remind yourself that intentions don't count, only action's.
~ Do it today. Remind yourself of someone you know who died suddenly and the fact that there is no guarantee that tomorrow will come.
~ Let success motivate you. Find a picture of what epitomizes success to you and then pull it out when you are in need of motivation.
Reflect and experiment until you find the right combination of motivators for your personality and your personal goals. I'll leave you with this final motivating quote:
"What drives me? The thing that drives me most is the desire to find my limits--and extend them." ~ Richard Marcinko
Now go push your own limits and succeed!
~ Norman Augustine
I truly believe Augustine's words are true and if you look at history you know it is true. There are many people in the world with amazing talents who realize only a small percentage of their potential. We all know people who live this truth.
We also know those epic stories, those modern-day legends surrounding the early failures of such supremely successful folks as Michael Jordan and Bill Gates. We can look a bit further back in time to Albert Einstein or even further back to Abraham Lincoln. What made each of these people so successful? Motivation.
We know this in our gut, but what can we do about it? How can we motivate ourselves? One of the most difficult aspects of achieving success is staying motivated over the long haul.
Motivation is not an accident or something that someone else can give you -- you are the only one with the power to motivate you. Motivation cannot be an external force, it must come from within as the natural product of your desire to achieve something and your belief that you are capable to succeed at your goal.
Positive pleasure-oriented goals are much more powerful motivators than negative fear-based ones. Although each is successful separately, the right combination of both is the most powerful motivational force known to humankind.
Here are some tips and methods for motivating yourself:
~ Use a past defeat as a motivator. Remind yourself you have nowhere to go except up as you have already been at the bottom.
~ Give yourself the power of responsibility. Remind yourself the only thing stopping you is yourself.
~ Make a list of your achievements toward your long-term goal and remind yourself that intentions don't count, only action's.
~ Do it today. Remind yourself of someone you know who died suddenly and the fact that there is no guarantee that tomorrow will come.
~ Let success motivate you. Find a picture of what epitomizes success to you and then pull it out when you are in need of motivation.
Reflect and experiment until you find the right combination of motivators for your personality and your personal goals. I'll leave you with this final motivating quote:
"What drives me? The thing that drives me most is the desire to find my limits--and extend them." ~ Richard Marcinko
Now go push your own limits and succeed!
Law of Life
The Law – Everything is energy. Choose to believe this law. You must accept it.
Your thoughts, your feelings, what you focus on are all energy. Do you understand that you have created the person you have become and created the quality of life you have.
Take a good look at what you have created. You, and only you, are responsible for your present level of success in life.
Right now, reflect on ways to make a positive difference in the quality of your life.
First, choose the area of life you want to focus. It can be your relationship, your career, your health; your finances just to mention a few. The most important thing to remember is to focus on just one area to start.
As you conquer the first obstacle, then go to the next. Keep moving forward until your goals are reached.
Know your purpose. Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. Identify your life purpose and stop wandering through life with little or no direction.
You must stop and smell the roses. Try this experiment and take note of reactions of different types of people.
1. Go to your local park
2. Find a bed of flowers or some magnificent location.
3. Carefully watch people passing this location.
Some will stop and enjoy the flowers. They will take time to smell and touch and enjoy them. Some will walk by and offer no more than a quick glance. Others will pass by and never see them at all. If you stop them and ask, they will reply “what flowers?”
Meditation is like stopping and smelling the flowers. It is an intensely personal and spiritual experience. There are many forms of meditation however they all use concentration techniques that helps us become aware of all of our inner thoughts.
Meditation is the key to finding your secret force that can overcome these obstacles and change your way of life.
You must first take action to face your current fears, honor your strengths and live from the inside out.
Live your life on purpose, not by accident.
The Past – It’s gone and should be no more than a fading memory.
The Future – It has not happened yet. Things you do today are likely to impact your future.
Don’t compare your present situation to anything else. Accept it for what it is and make the best of it or decide to Take Action now if it is not the present that you are happy with.
The time is here to decide that there is no such thing as failure. It is time to take the opportunity to learn from the experience and move forward. Learn from your mistakes and grow wiser and stronger and you will grow to accomplish more.
Are you stuck in a rut and unsure how to make changes in your life?
Do you need some support in helping motivate you to move forward in achieving the life you deserve?
It’s your life. Don’t complain if you are not willing to Take Action.
With clear goals and constructive support, you will be surprised how fast progress will be made.
Your thoughts, your feelings, what you focus on are all energy. Do you understand that you have created the person you have become and created the quality of life you have.
Take a good look at what you have created. You, and only you, are responsible for your present level of success in life.
Right now, reflect on ways to make a positive difference in the quality of your life.
First, choose the area of life you want to focus. It can be your relationship, your career, your health; your finances just to mention a few. The most important thing to remember is to focus on just one area to start.
As you conquer the first obstacle, then go to the next. Keep moving forward until your goals are reached.
Know your purpose. Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. Identify your life purpose and stop wandering through life with little or no direction.
You must stop and smell the roses. Try this experiment and take note of reactions of different types of people.
1. Go to your local park
2. Find a bed of flowers or some magnificent location.
3. Carefully watch people passing this location.
Some will stop and enjoy the flowers. They will take time to smell and touch and enjoy them. Some will walk by and offer no more than a quick glance. Others will pass by and never see them at all. If you stop them and ask, they will reply “what flowers?”
Meditation is like stopping and smelling the flowers. It is an intensely personal and spiritual experience. There are many forms of meditation however they all use concentration techniques that helps us become aware of all of our inner thoughts.
Meditation is the key to finding your secret force that can overcome these obstacles and change your way of life.
You must first take action to face your current fears, honor your strengths and live from the inside out.
Live your life on purpose, not by accident.
The Past – It’s gone and should be no more than a fading memory.
The Future – It has not happened yet. Things you do today are likely to impact your future.
Don’t compare your present situation to anything else. Accept it for what it is and make the best of it or decide to Take Action now if it is not the present that you are happy with.
The time is here to decide that there is no such thing as failure. It is time to take the opportunity to learn from the experience and move forward. Learn from your mistakes and grow wiser and stronger and you will grow to accomplish more.
Are you stuck in a rut and unsure how to make changes in your life?
Do you need some support in helping motivate you to move forward in achieving the life you deserve?
It’s your life. Don’t complain if you are not willing to Take Action.
With clear goals and constructive support, you will be surprised how fast progress will be made.
Knowledge Or Action?
It's been said that knowledge is power. While that's true to an extent, it isn't the whole truth. Knowledge without action is almost useless. It doesn't help to be a genius if you never do anything with the knowledge. I tend to think of knowledge as ammunition and action as a gun. (It's a typical guy thought, I know but it works for me.) Think about it. If you have bullets and no gun, they're pretty much useless. If you have a gun and no bullets, the best you can do is throw (action) the gun at the target. Not as useless as the bullets (knowledge) since action without knowledge is more productive than knowledge without action
The reason I've been thinking about this lately is that I've been reading article after article about how to make money, get high search engine ranking, find customers & prospects, motivate myself and others and several other subjects and realized that regardless of how much info I've gained, it's worthless if I don't act on the knowledge. And it's the same for everyone. It wouldn't matter if you had a PhD in Quantum Physics if you worked at McDonalds, or a library full of books and never used the knowledge within, now would it? I've met some really intelligent homeless people and some stupid millionaires and the biggest difference is action. Let me say this again, ACTION. Action makes people successful to a certain degree. Not to say that any action will make people successful. Jumping up and down or changing channels will not do it, but action of any kind that propels you toward your target goal will get you they eventually.
Another way to think of it is like having a map. I could give you a map to a lost treasure, but if you never left your house, it wouldn't do much good would it?
So here's a question; what action will you do today, to reach your goal? Reading a book will only take you so far.
The reason I've been thinking about this lately is that I've been reading article after article about how to make money, get high search engine ranking, find customers & prospects, motivate myself and others and several other subjects and realized that regardless of how much info I've gained, it's worthless if I don't act on the knowledge. And it's the same for everyone. It wouldn't matter if you had a PhD in Quantum Physics if you worked at McDonalds, or a library full of books and never used the knowledge within, now would it? I've met some really intelligent homeless people and some stupid millionaires and the biggest difference is action. Let me say this again, ACTION. Action makes people successful to a certain degree. Not to say that any action will make people successful. Jumping up and down or changing channels will not do it, but action of any kind that propels you toward your target goal will get you they eventually.
Another way to think of it is like having a map. I could give you a map to a lost treasure, but if you never left your house, it wouldn't do much good would it?
So here's a question; what action will you do today, to reach your goal? Reading a book will only take you so far.
Know yourself…your inner power
I am upset. At this moment, as I sit here typing this up, I am truly upset. Something happened a little while ago. I got into an argument and I am now reaping the results of that. It’s a true bounty of results, I can tell you. Let’s see…anger, frustration, shame, disgust…then more anger and guilt at the fact that I have allowed myself to get angry and frustrated. All of this is confusing. It’s a form of madness (no offence intended). I think what’s worse is that it is quite normal for most people.
So, as I sit here and stew, let us see if we can work this all out. Where does all this negative emotion come from? Well, obviously from the thing that was said to me. The person I had the “conversation” with spoke words. These words were taken by my mind, analysed, and a proper “reaction” was produced based on the result of the analysis. No matter how deep we go into human psychology and the workings of the mind; that really is the simple description of what happened. That’s all we need to concern ourselves with. We can keep it simple, and then try a simple approach to addressing the problem.
The problem is whatever the person said. Words…Just words. How can words have such a powerful effect? The answer is that they don’t. What has the effect is the power we give those words…our rating of them…our belief in them. So if someone calls you an idiot, you might be offended. Why? I mean you know you are not an idiot. Most likely the person knows it too. Why the negative response? Why can’t you ignore it? Well, because you are wired that way. You can’t stand to see that anyone would say you were an idiot. It is not enough that you know you’re not an idiot. You need this person to acknowledge that as well. And what’s wrong with that? I think it’s natural for us to want other people recognize the message we are trying to convey by our words or actions (whether or not the message is true or false). Sadly, no matter what we do, there are people who will always interpret things how they choose. Basically, no matter how much you show James how much of a genius you are, James (Sorry if your name is James) will still call you an idiot, and probably feel he is better than you.
It’s absurd! James isn’t better than you are. No one is. You have to remember that. Know thyself. Derive your strength from that. What do you do about those who refuse to accept your side of the story? Leave them. Ignore them. Walk away after putting your point across. But don’t get drawn in. I am not going to get overly religious on you, but I want to make a point. Jesus Christ said “Turn the other cheek”. I think people misinterpret that as a sign of passivity; of a desire to avoid confrontation; even of weakness. I disagree. I think it is an act of someone who is so powerfully aware of their own inner strength and value that they there is nothing you could do to take that away. Abuse me, torture me and kill me, yes. But you will never change the truth. People who can deal with the hurtful utterances of others go very far because they don’t allow these words get to them. Put in another way, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. There’s a bit missing there. That bit is “…unless I allow them”. It’s in your power to choose your reaction to what others say or do. Believe in yourself, first and foremost. You will be able to withstand negativity from others without being unnecessarily hurt by it.
Just remembering this principle of faith in oneself is enough to make my anger and frustration start to dissipate. I can feel it evaporating slowly as I finish this article. Happy days! I shall leave you with a quote made by Marcus Aurelius almost 2000 years ago…“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment”.
So, as I sit here and stew, let us see if we can work this all out. Where does all this negative emotion come from? Well, obviously from the thing that was said to me. The person I had the “conversation” with spoke words. These words were taken by my mind, analysed, and a proper “reaction” was produced based on the result of the analysis. No matter how deep we go into human psychology and the workings of the mind; that really is the simple description of what happened. That’s all we need to concern ourselves with. We can keep it simple, and then try a simple approach to addressing the problem.
The problem is whatever the person said. Words…Just words. How can words have such a powerful effect? The answer is that they don’t. What has the effect is the power we give those words…our rating of them…our belief in them. So if someone calls you an idiot, you might be offended. Why? I mean you know you are not an idiot. Most likely the person knows it too. Why the negative response? Why can’t you ignore it? Well, because you are wired that way. You can’t stand to see that anyone would say you were an idiot. It is not enough that you know you’re not an idiot. You need this person to acknowledge that as well. And what’s wrong with that? I think it’s natural for us to want other people recognize the message we are trying to convey by our words or actions (whether or not the message is true or false). Sadly, no matter what we do, there are people who will always interpret things how they choose. Basically, no matter how much you show James how much of a genius you are, James (Sorry if your name is James) will still call you an idiot, and probably feel he is better than you.
It’s absurd! James isn’t better than you are. No one is. You have to remember that. Know thyself. Derive your strength from that. What do you do about those who refuse to accept your side of the story? Leave them. Ignore them. Walk away after putting your point across. But don’t get drawn in. I am not going to get overly religious on you, but I want to make a point. Jesus Christ said “Turn the other cheek”. I think people misinterpret that as a sign of passivity; of a desire to avoid confrontation; even of weakness. I disagree. I think it is an act of someone who is so powerfully aware of their own inner strength and value that they there is nothing you could do to take that away. Abuse me, torture me and kill me, yes. But you will never change the truth. People who can deal with the hurtful utterances of others go very far because they don’t allow these words get to them. Put in another way, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. There’s a bit missing there. That bit is “…unless I allow them”. It’s in your power to choose your reaction to what others say or do. Believe in yourself, first and foremost. You will be able to withstand negativity from others without being unnecessarily hurt by it.
Just remembering this principle of faith in oneself is enough to make my anger and frustration start to dissipate. I can feel it evaporating slowly as I finish this article. Happy days! I shall leave you with a quote made by Marcus Aurelius almost 2000 years ago…“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment”.
Kindness and Motivation Tips Challenge Groups to Make a Difference
Kindness and Motivation Tips Challenge Groups to Make A
Difference
Call the Homeless Shelter or group and ask for a list of needs
Ask them to put the things they need most or get the least of,
at the top of the list.
Assign point values to each item - with the most-needed items
getting the most point value.
Send everyone out with their lists - let them know that the
team or person that creates the most points with what they bring
in, will win the contest.
Either put up a prize yourself or ask a local restaurant if they
will provide a free meal to the winners.
Younger adults really enjoy the search for items and what a
great lesson - it's fun to give to others!
Have members go around their neighborhoods
Ask each family to donate 'gently used' toys their kids don't
use anymore. There will be tons - what a great way to involve kids
in the joy of giving!
4. If you play a sport, have your teammates bring in their old
equipment. Much of it will still be in good shape.
Donate it to a team in a less fortunate part of town
Find a group overseas to receive the equipment for teams in
their own country
They painted it, fixed the chairs, and basketball hoops.
They bought more balls and equipment with money raised
from a School Rummage and Bake Sale.
They repainted the lines on the courts and planted some
flowering plants in the front.
A few dads repaired the Jungle Gym, the slide and the swings
out back.
Then they painted all of them rainbow colors and weeded the
back lot.
They had a lot of fun and made a big difference at the same time!
And the children learned the value of caring about others.
Difference
Do you belong to a group that helps make a difference in people's
lives? Does your group struggle to find ways to help others? Tired
of the same old Bake Sale-Car Wash routine?
Below are five ideas your group can use to make a difference.
These come from the e-book, href="http://www.101WaysSeries.com" target= "_blank">"101
Ways to Change the World.
1. Organize a Group or Neighborhood Yard Sale and
contribute the proceeds to a worthy cause. One neighborhood
adopted an orphanage in Thailand and worked together to send
thousands of dollars from their garage sale. In addition to the
money they sent, neighbors became closer and new friendships
were made.
2. Organize a Homeless Shelter (or other needy group)
Scavenger Hunt. You'll need a group of people - the more, the
better.
at the top of the list.
getting the most point value.
team or person that creates the most points with what they bring
in, will win the contest.
will provide a free meal to the winners.
great lesson - it's fun to give to others!
3. Have a Toy Drive for a local Battered Women's Shelter, Safe
House or Homeless Shelter that has kids. The toys don't have to
be new.
use anymore. There will be tons - what a great way to involve kids
in the joy of giving!
4. If you play a sport, have your teammates bring in their old
equipment. Much of it will still be in good shape.
their own country
5. A group of 50 of classmates went to their Community
Center.
from a School Rummage and Bake Sale.
flowering plants in the front.
out back.
back lot.
They had a lot of fun and made a big difference at the same time!
And the children learned the value of caring about others.
Remember, your ability to make a difference depends on your
choice to do it. It's just that simple. So visit
http://www.101WaysSeries.com and download a copy of the e-
book, "101 Ways to Change the World. Choose the ways
you want to make a difference and then DO THEM!
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